Pregnancy Etiquette for Men

When I got married I did not go into it with a fairy tale outlook. I knew it would be work and we would have our ups and downs - that we would fall in and out of love all the time. This outlook has blessed us and honestly I have been more than lucky in our marriage even with ups and downs.   Pregnancy has been an entirely different situation for me. I have friends and cousins who look so beautiful during pregnancy- they really have that glow! I recall a certain cousin saying "I love what pregnancy does to your body!!" ... I had not yet gone through pregnancy when she told me this. This statement is on my top 5 most painful  lies told to me in my life... I will be the first to say I don't handle pregnancy very gracefully and Ben would be the second to say it. I freely complain about everything that comes along with the territory- weight gain, exhaustion, sickness, moodiness, swelling etc... I get every symptom at some point during the 40 weeks and Ben hears about it!

Ben, however, is not so innocent in this journey. That is why I thought I'd write this blog- to help him and other men like him. First up..

Top 5 Movie to NOT Watch When Your Woman is Pregnant

1. Alien

2. Aliens

3. Alien 3

4. Alien Resurrection

5. And of course anything with Jennifer Aniston in it that wont make you feel good at all! Actually any movie with a beautiful and stylish woman is not a good idea if you love your woman at all. 

This is a great time in your life to watch a whole lot of sports, yet this may not work either because then you will likely hear "Why do you just watch sports all the time? Is it because I am fat? This is all your fault!!!!!" Maybe that's just in our home though?! 

To continue with my free advice....

Top 5 things to NOT Say to Your Pregnant Woman

1. "Darling you look beautiful....in the face"

2. "You look so happy with that burrito in your hand"

3. "That dress is pretty- who gave you their curtains"

4. "You really are so amazing to carry THAT MUCH WEIGHT on your body- incredible"

5. "Honey, look this is what you look like when you walk..."

Now if you are worried about what you can say to her- I made a final list to help you keep communication strong in your marriage  during this magical time in your life.  

Top 3 Safe Words During Pregnancy- I could only come up with 3..

1. "Hi"

2. "Thank You"

3. "I Agree"

You can thank me for this simple advice but it's not necessary. I just wanted to help men out there have a better idea of how to handle their once sweet and nearly perfect wife as well as stop the painful lies that pregnancy does awesome stuff to your body...It doesn't- that belief is horse shit.  

(Yes Yes it is worth it all for the record)

The End.