The Jacket

I have been listening to C.S. Lewis' book Mere Christianity (because actually reading a book would require way too much attention from me!!). Lewis writes about The Law of Human Nature and how we naturally have within us a conflict of Right and Wrong. I relate so well to the example he uses in which you see someone on the side of the road in need of help your first instinct is to help them yet you also naturally want to avoid helping to keep yourself safe. I can't even count how many times I have felt this way. A few times even putting myself in danger like the time I picked up a boy at 10p.m. in the snow to only find out what they show Invention may be all about when it comes to someone on drugs...or the time I convinced my older brother to pick up a hitchhiker- He probably never accepted a ride again after I read him out of my 1001 Best Joke book for an hour... The point is we have convincing arguments within us to either do the Good or to avoid doing Good.
Not two days after "reading" this, thinking it sunk in and committing to accepting the good side (as long as I was safe anyway..) I had an opportunity to see if I naturally really had become better. I am being very honest here try not to judge!! Rock and I with baby Titus went to play at one of our favorite parks on a chilly day. It was only 64 degrees we were bundled well and having a great time. Shortly after we got there another mother rode up on a bike with her little girl probably 18 months old both were in tank tops. My very first thought was "come on mom, put clothes on your sweet baby it is so cold out here" !! I found I was upset with her and felt so sad for that baby girl. I overheard the mom say "Oh I should have put a jacket on you" then she got on her cell phone and chatted away with a friend. I looked over at the little girl who was happily playing but literally shivering. I remembered I had Rock's jacket in the car and thought as soon as she is off the phone I'll ask her if she would like it. That time she kept talking allowed the battle to begin within myself. I thought "No, I don't want her to feel attacked by me asking she will  surely feel my judgement" and even worse "I LOVE the extra jacket that is there Rock looks so cute in it and it matches a pair of pants" The later statement was more of a hold up then any of the others that crossed my mind. Finally she got off the phone and I told her I had a jacket if she would like it. She said "Yes Please!" and Rock and I went to get it. I handed it to Rock and told him that our friend didn't have a jacket and we get to share with her. Rock hesitated at first but when I explained it more clearly  he happily handed over the jacket then ran off to play. The mom said "Thanks" and walked away. Later that day, Rock, to my surprise happily told his grandma beer and daddy that he gave his jacket to his new friend! I didn't realize he had paid so much attention to the situation yet he was truly proud that he "chose the right"! Rock talked about it all night and told me how the little girl didn't have a jacket and he gave her his! He was so excited about it.
 I felt sick to my stomach reflecting on my true and honest feelings in the beginning.  I felt sad that I considered not getting the jacket because of the walk to my car and the cute jacket it was.Especially, considering the sweet little girl who was the one in the cold and to my little boy who learned a small lesson that he will remember at least for that day!
I wrote this not to say how giving we were on that day or how others parent their children but to share a lesson I thought I learned already. And maybe help someone else commit to doing more good more willingly. I thought of the scripture in Mosiah 3:19 "For the natural man is an enemy to God...unless he yields to the enticing of the Holy Spirit and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive , meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father"
Mostly, the next time there is an opportunity to help or serve in a small way I hope I don't let it turn into such an inner battle but I can naturally arise to the occasion and easily do good. I can say I received far more than I would have keeping a jacket that Rock could honestly care less about! The reward of seeing Rock so proud of a kind gesture is priceless as any parent would agree. We want our children to grow up to be good but it requires that we ourselves are good willingly. The act doesn't matter as much as the feeling behind the act. I know just as well as so many that what we say does not matter as much as what we do and how we do it. 
I couldn't help but laugh however, as Rock excitedly told Ben all about the park and the jacket -Ben acknowledged his good choice then looked up at me and asked "But what Jacket was it?"

Pregnancy Etiquette for Men

When I got married I did not go into it with a fairy tale outlook. I knew it would be work and we would have our ups and downs - that we would fall in and out of love all the time. This outlook has blessed us and honestly I have been more than lucky in our marriage even with ups and downs.   Pregnancy has been an entirely different situation for me. I have friends and cousins who look so beautiful during pregnancy- they really have that glow! I recall a certain cousin saying "I love what pregnancy does to your body!!" ... I had not yet gone through pregnancy when she told me this. This statement is on my top 5 most painful  lies told to me in my life... I will be the first to say I don't handle pregnancy very gracefully and Ben would be the second to say it. I freely complain about everything that comes along with the territory- weight gain, exhaustion, sickness, moodiness, swelling etc... I get every symptom at some point during the 40 weeks and Ben hears about it!

Ben, however, is not so innocent in this journey. That is why I thought I'd write this blog- to help him and other men like him. First up..

Top 5 Movie to NOT Watch When Your Woman is Pregnant

1. Alien

2. Aliens

3. Alien 3

4. Alien Resurrection

5. And of course anything with Jennifer Aniston in it that wont make you feel good at all! Actually any movie with a beautiful and stylish woman is not a good idea if you love your woman at all. 

This is a great time in your life to watch a whole lot of sports, yet this may not work either because then you will likely hear "Why do you just watch sports all the time? Is it because I am fat? This is all your fault!!!!!" Maybe that's just in our home though?! 

To continue with my free advice....

Top 5 things to NOT Say to Your Pregnant Woman

1. "Darling you look beautiful....in the face"

2. "You look so happy with that burrito in your hand"

3. "That dress is pretty- who gave you their curtains"

4. "You really are so amazing to carry THAT MUCH WEIGHT on your body- incredible"

5. "Honey, look this is what you look like when you walk..."

Now if you are worried about what you can say to her- I made a final list to help you keep communication strong in your marriage  during this magical time in your life.  

Top 3 Safe Words During Pregnancy- I could only come up with 3..

1. "Hi"

2. "Thank You"

3. "I Agree"

You can thank me for this simple advice but it's not necessary. I just wanted to help men out there have a better idea of how to handle their once sweet and nearly perfect wife as well as stop the painful lies that pregnancy does awesome stuff to your body...It doesn't- that belief is horse shit.  

(Yes Yes it is worth it all for the record)

The End.

 

Announcing our Success!!

 When it came to announcing I was pregnant with Rock, to Ben,  we had gone through a bit of a heart break before and I was afraid of making a big deal out of something that may not work out again.Therefore, when I told Ben about Rock it was simple and non-creative something like "You knocked me up, I feel sick and need a bean and cheese burrito ASAP..." Clever.   When I discovered I was pregnant with this one I wanted to do something much more fun and if it didn't work out at least get free dessert out of it (=  So this is how the big announcement was made to love of my life and partner in our creation! 

 We love to eat out and Rodizzio's Grill is a favorite hot spot for us. Ben eats like a beast of a man and gets his money's worth as they bring around every possibly cooked animal on a skewer from filet mignon to chicken hearts. We had planned a fun date with some good friends of ours to go and I knew it would be the perfect place and time to do it. I had taken a test that day...Actually I had taken 4 test that day that all read positive plus confirmed the possibilities with my dear friend Valayne. Even though I still had doubts I knew the announcement needed to be made. I decided to make a baby skewer to take with us...A baby item skewer to clarify. I had no idea at all how it would work out but was incredibly nervous. Luckily, the valet parking was full and Ben had to park the car ( who likes to walk all the way to your car after eating that much animal?) So I said I would run in and reserve a spot while everyone else parked the car. I sprinted in with my giant green purse that did not match at all but carried my skewer. I tried to explain to the host- while trying to catch my breath- what I hoped to have happen. I asked if she could have a waiter bring out the skewer to him and say special delivery or something creative. The girls were more than kind and excited to help me. They rushed the skewer to the back then we all waited for ever for our party to arrive! It was the longest 10 minutes!! Finally we all sat down and began out feast! By the way I was trying out a vegan life style at this time in my life- not a great restaurant to eat at when doing this!! The waiters brought out a few choices of meat and I could not stand it I was dying to get it over with yet I didn't know when or exactly how it would happen. Finally the moment came the waiter came out holding the skewer followed by 6 or 7 other employees who carried drums and were singing and shouting. They surrounded Ben and sang some Mama Mia type song and handed him the skewer!! It was too perfect! Ben was shocked with no words- never has happened! Our friends that were with us shared in the excitement as they didn't know I had planned it either! It was the most serene night we've ever had at Rodizzio's but incredibly special! Ben loved it so much and one our friends Boots that was with us also put it at the top of his nights as well- which adds to the joy of it all!!! The host and the waiters made it better than I had hoped too! However, I did not get free dessert. 

Here is the skewer I put together- quickly I would like to add! I added pink and blue as I did not know what this little

 one was! 

Now, at 18 weeks here is our little man showing off his muscles he got from me eating Rodizzios. This little Beer flexed for us the whole time the spot light was on him. He wiggles and moves constantly which I absolutely love and honestly how did I forget how amazing it feels to have a little one kicking about in the womb?! I love it and am already in love. Rock proudly walked through our midwife's office today telling everyone on staff " He is MY baby brother" I hope he will still feel so proud when our little man arrives! We are so happy and feel overwhelmingly blessed-- this is far better than any free dessert one could receive!